Author Topic: Facebook...the BEST and WORST Status Updates, Conversations, Photo Remarks, etc (Read 5195 times)

CeeDub · « **Reply #25 on:** 06-07-2010, 07:51pm »

are you people talking about internet stalking?

jcpeace · « **Reply #24 on:** 06-07-2010, 05:41pm »

A recent favorite.....

"That sink hole in Guatemala is AWFUL and I hope to god it's a hoax and everyone is ok, but this will happen to LA and NYC soon if we don't monitor and put the kibosh on Kate Hudson fucking everything walking. I imagine her Vadge looks like that hole"

i'm a a HUGE fan of this person's status updates

HippyWitch · « **Reply #23 on:** 06-07-2010, 05:34pm »

Quote from: PuddinPop on 06-07-2010, 05:33pm

Ummmm, seriously Hippy...if she reads ANY of your FB posts she must think YOU are in fact, the devil.
She is praying for your soul.

she will reply every once in a while "girl you not right, lol"

PuddinPop · « **Reply #22 on:** 06-07-2010, 05:33pm »

Ummmm, seriously Hippy...if she reads ANY of your FB posts she must think YOU are in fact, the devil.
She is praying for your soul.

HippyWitch · « **Reply #21 on:** 06-07-2010, 05:23pm »

@ Kitten, LOL no, not on those crazy ass posts. Sometimes It will just say I am so angry, and Of course I have to ask why and the reply will be something like Rusty (her dog) bit me and ate my latest Perry Mason Fan Fiction NOT KIDDING

@FE Dude you HAVE no idea. She asks me all the time if I can get her Raymond Burr and Barbara Hale photos. Dude, I work at Us fucking Weekly, not the Time Life archives.

I honestly feel blessed to have her in my life

kitten · « **Reply #20 on:** 06-07-2010, 03:53pm »

Ha ha ah ca-razy!
Do you ever comment? I NEVER comment on my facebook obsession.

Quote from: Hippywitch on 06-07-2010, 03:26pm

Like Kitten I am also obsessed with one of my Facebook friends updates. This is a friend of a friend of mine from Georgia, I met her a few times in person... She brings so much joy to my life.

My Lord is keeping me safe. Satan is trying his best to confuse me into crazy things. "GET THEE BEHIND ME satan!" The more I turn to Jesus, the closer satan tries to get.... ha ha! satan you are a liar and a loser! You will never have me so go away and cry!
May 18 at 9:39pm · Comment · Like

I am asking all of my friends to pray for me. I did something yesterday that I have never done in before. My temper went from 0 to 100 in a split second.... it was if I didn't know that it happened. I wonder if I had another blank-out spell when this happened. I almost hit someone and did not realize it or what I was doing. Please pray for me.
May 17 at 11:59am · Comment · Like

OH NO I THINK I AM GOING TO HAVE A CRAZY FIT! My niece's boyfriend Jonathan was helping me move my entertainment center over a bit and he knocked one of my Raymond (Perry Mason) Burr pictures off of my wall. I Like To Have Died! I had a fit! LOL I know he didn't mean to do it, still, I freaked out!
May 16 at 8:24pm · Comment · Like

fasteddie · « **Reply #19 on:** 06-07-2010, 03:40pm »

Quote from: Hippywitch on 06-07-2010, 03:26pm

and he knocked one of my Raymond (Perry Mason) Burr pictures off of my wall. I Like To Have Died! I had a fit!

"one of"? dare I ask how many Raymond Burr pics she has?

HippyWitch · « **Reply #18 on:** 06-07-2010, 03:26pm »

Like Kitten I am also obsessed with one of my Facebook friends updates. This is a friend of a friend of mine from Georgia, I met her a few times in person... She brings so much joy to my life.

My Lord is keeping me safe. Satan is trying his best to confuse me into crazy things. "GET THEE BEHIND ME satan!" The more I turn to Jesus, the closer satan tries to get.... ha ha! satan you are a liar and a loser! You will never have me so go away and cry!
May 18 at 9:39pm · Comment · Like

I am asking all of my friends to pray for me. I did something yesterday that I have never done in before. My temper went from 0 to 100 in a split second.... it was if I didn't know that it happened. I wonder if I had another blank-out spell when this happened. I almost hit someone and did not realize it or what I was doing. Please pray for me.
May 17 at 11:59am · Comment · Like

OH NO I THINK I AM GOING TO HAVE A CRAZY FIT! My niece's boyfriend Jonathan was helping me move my entertainment center over a bit and he knocked one of my Raymond (Perry Mason) Burr pictures off of my wall. I Like To Have Died! I had a fit! LOL I know he didn't mean to do it, still, I freaked out!
May 16 at 8:24pm · Comment · Like

elgoodo · « **Reply #17 on:** 06-07-2010, 02:30pm »

Yay excessive capitalization!

kitten · « **Reply #16 on:** 06-07-2010, 01:52pm »

I have a facebook obsession. Someone I used to go to H.S. with. If she found out I posted these, I'd probably get my azz kicked, but seriously, her status updates blow my effing mind.

"Some People Just Need to Get over themselfs... Not Everything Posted on My Wifes Or My Page is about you.. For Your Information My Son Has More then One GodParent..Cant Wait to Get into Our New House and back Away From all the Bullshit & Drama:

"Could My Life Get any Worse. in the last 2 weeks.. i Have Lost My House & Everything in it, & Now i Just get a Phone Call.. My Sister is in the Hspital, Passed out, Stopped Breathing..now she is in ICU. N Some1 OWES me 40.00 4 saying i could Borrow ther car. i By the Tickets & 2 days b4 they call and give some bull sh...it Excuse.. So Since i Wasted the Money 4 the Tickets They Will Be Paying me Back"

"Some one OWES ME 40 MOTHER F*CKING Dollars... Dont Promise Something.. I Buy Something & Then the Last F*cking Min BACK OUT... sO tHANK YOU very f***** much for breaking my daughters heart hope you proud of yourself.."

"HaHa.. People Crack me Up.. ( Old Job ).. Just told my Wife that.. THEY DONT ASK FOR MUCH.. and that she cant have the Days off Needed for a Trip to see Familyin New York For The Stuff they have up there for us... YOU DONT ASK FOR MUCH MY ASS.. WE HAVE GIVIN YOUR ASS MORE OF OUR LIFE THEN WE HAVE WITH OUR KIDS.. SO GET OVER YOURSELFS.. You ARE NOT ALL THAT"

bdlaw · « **Reply #15 on:** 06-03-2010, 05:51pm »

Quote from: elgoodo on 06-03-2010, 04:39pm

Sometimes I feel like I am watching one of those "How many people can we fit in the telephone booth" contests that were so popular in the 50's... except it's not a phone booth it's the USA and it's not people it's Fucktards and it's not the 50's it's now.

And you're devoting time to it.

elgoodo · « **Reply #14 on:** 06-03-2010, 04:39pm »

Sometimes I feel like I am watching one of those "How many people can we fit in the telephone booth" contests that were so popular in the 50's... except it's not a phone booth it's the USA and it's not people it's Fucktards and it's not the 50's it's now.

Kindelan · « **Reply #13 on:** 11-17-2009, 12:27pm »

http://www.lamebook.com/

elgoodo · « **Reply #12 on:** 11-04-2009, 11:30am »

When a typically self absorbed 'constituent' yelled out 'bababooey!' at that contemptable buffoon's acceptance speech, at first I thought, how fitting...then I thought, that's actually better than he deserves.

Sue2dRescue · « **Reply #11 on:** 10-14-2009, 01:26pm »

Soshin
Last night on DISCOVERY: "when Yellowstone explodes" the story of how we are all gonna die when the super volcano erupts. On the HISTORY channel: "The Anti-Christ". Satan is bad, Jesus is good. On every other channel DEATH, DIS...EASE, FAMINE, TSUNAMI, AND PAT ROBERTSON. Fuck knows why I work in TV.

Sue2dRescue
Food Network is the worst.

Jcpeace
finally got cable for the first time in 4 yrs last week (fios) thusfar, the only things viewed have been and will continue to be...baseball

Soshin
It will suck you in slowly. You'll find yourself channel surfing between innings and the next thing you know you are licking Pat Robertson's crotch

Sue2dRescue
Does he have a Food Network special?

Jcpeace
i have thusfar resisted licking pat robertson's crotch...but we'll see what happens once the playoffs start

if it means good luck for the yanks, i'll teabag jesus!

Sue2dRescue
I love you guys.

Jehu

<a href="http://www.hulu.com/embed/qUMPBY789bPYQeurSgvajg" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.hulu.com/embed/qUMPBY789bPYQeurSgvajg</a>

Soshin
It's rumored that they have Jesus testicles inside a jar somewhere in the basement of the Vatican. They are in the room located between the other fantasy objects like Unicorns and Compassionate Conservatives. You better be careful what you wish for.

Olewnick · « **Reply #10 on:** 08-25-2009, 03:29pm »

Richard is the best at this. Just now:

just unclogged his building's garbage chute. Again. If only every obstacle could be cleared with a broomstick and a stream of obscenities.

elgoodo · « **Reply #9 on:** 08-25-2009, 01:59pm »

Actual ingredient listed on Healthy Choice Country Herb Chicken entree: CHICKEN TYPE FLAVOR

Olewnick · « **Reply #8 on:** 08-16-2009, 05:14pm »

My friend Richard Harland Smith "would like to tell the mom at the park who asked her toddler "Why the hell would you put sand in your mouth?" that he probably did it for the same reason she had a guy's name tattooed over the crack of her ass - it seemed a good idea at the time."

AmbushBug · « **Reply #7 on:** 08-15-2009, 07:12pm »

The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society,” whether they are worthy of health care.

Source (duh)

elgoodo · « **Reply #6 on:** 08-15-2009, 02:42pm »

Did you know that a Twix bar is worse for you than a strip of bacon? Time to eat more bacon.

elgoodo · « **Reply #5 on:** 08-14-2009, 05:03pm »

"So I want to start a town rumor. For 2 months, everyday, I'll walk into a CVS and purchase a 2 litter of coke, a bottle of jack, 12 pack of condoms, and a 10 pack of cdrs. So people will wonder "This guy downs a bottle of jack, a 2 litter... coke, bangs 12 chicks, and then burns 10 cdrs of music?" Leading them to think "Why doesn't he get an ipod? Maybe he gives them to each one? Which 2 arent't getting cds?!!!"

glx · « **Reply #4 on:** 05-25-2009, 01:49pm »

My favorite is people with an odd sense of self-identity that chose to mash up theirs and their spouses names instead of just having separate linked accounts. I don't really get it.

jcpeace · « **Reply #3 on:** 05-23-2009, 05:33pm »

this one comes care of a mutual friend of many of us:

" just had to kick someone out for jerking off at the bar. un fucking real"

elgoodo · « **Reply #2 on:** 05-17-2009, 12:45pm »

an 5th grade classmate of mine: "manicures and power tools not my best idea.."

PuddinPop · « **Reply #1 on:** 04-30-2009, 11:17am »

Let's hear them!

I will start with one that just came up for me, based on the following:

Mom,
If you see this, I am hoping you can explain why I, as a 4 year old child (or so), was given an electric pencil sharpener for Christmas.
Your Darling Daughter

Anon at 4:33pm April 29: You look....reproachful.
Jillian Suesz at 4:36pm April 29: Yes Brian...I can see that. I can also see that I was given a similar haircut today. Now all I need is the pink footie pj's.
Jan Suesz Ends (my mom) at 8:30pm April 29: You expect me to remember 22 years ago when I can barely remember what I did yesterday? I'm sure there was a good reason - probably because you were obsessed with sharpening pencils and electric things (best I can do!)
Jillian Suesz at 8:38pm April 29: Obssessed with electric things? Ah yes...like the tape recorder and my Atari. And now maybe adult toys

Jan Suesz Ends at 8:46pm April 29:Whoa.....TMI
Jillian Suesz at 11:05am April 30: Uhh..ummmmm...I meant the mechanical bull

Jersey City, NJ Community Forums · « **Reply #1 on:** 04-30-2009, 11:17am »

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Author Topic: Facebook...the BEST and WORST Status Updates, Conversations, Photo Remarks, etc (Read 5195 times)

Jersey City, NJ Community Forums