Author Topic: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here  (Read 119919 times)

Offline shahaggy

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #55 on: 04-01-2011, 10:51am »
  Officials from China will visit a Hunterdon County department

what a headline, really draws the reader into the story

[04:53 PM] Soshin: I don't think I've ever had fig spread Darna but I like figs and they make my sphincter sing power ballads

[12:48 PM] Bobblehead: Yo, you know I'm really happy for you and Ima let you finish, but soshin had one of the best meercat shouts of all time

[10:23 PM] skwirrlking: you submitting darna for beards eating cupcakes - mca?

[03:24 PM] Darna: [03:22 PM] jeht'aimeu: skw, you are climbing up my pole as well... 

[02:28 PM] propscene: I DPON"T MEAN I LOVE YOU DEEP INSIDE AS MUCH AS I LOVE HIM DEEP INSIDE OH GOD

[12:58 PM] nikki: i feel like i should like the opposite of whatever jehu says

Offline PuddinPop

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #54 on: 03-30-2011, 02:00pm »
Jersey City man proposes, then beaten out for Charlie Sheen intern job, but he's got lots more "winning" ideas where that come from

**I really hate telling people I live in Jersey City...and I can't believe I don't make millions a year based on the stupidity of these people at NJ.Com

Offline shahaggy

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #53 on: 03-24-2011, 10:13am »
  Jersey City woman files criminal complaint after discovering masseur who gave her breast, buttock massages was not gay
[04:53 PM] Soshin: I don't think I've ever had fig spread Darna but I like figs and they make my sphincter sing power ballads

[12:48 PM] Bobblehead: Yo, you know I'm really happy for you and Ima let you finish, but soshin had one of the best meercat shouts of all time

[10:23 PM] skwirrlking: you submitting darna for beards eating cupcakes - mca?

[03:24 PM] Darna: [03:22 PM] jeht'aimeu: skw, you are climbing up my pole as well... 

[02:28 PM] propscene: I DPON"T MEAN I LOVE YOU DEEP INSIDE AS MUCH AS I LOVE HIM DEEP INSIDE OH GOD

[12:58 PM] nikki: i feel like i should like the opposite of whatever jehu says

Offline propscene

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #52 on: 02-25-2011, 03:49pm »
Hoboken man arrested for aggressively beating Bayonne woman in a bar after she refused to dance with him, police say

JJ, 2/25/2011

I guess there's an unaggressive way to beat someone?  ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

Offline propscene

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #51 on: 02-21-2011, 02:26pm »
"Jersey City commits carjacking to escape kidnapping plot, cops say; he's charged and so is 'kidnapper' "

Jersey Journal, 2/21/2011

No words.

Online Binky

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #50 on: 02-14-2011, 11:26pm »
Hoboken's new public information policy uncovered
nikki: i can't keep up with rab and his George Clooney lifestyle of drinking wine, playing music and philanthropy

Offline pinky

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #49 on: 01-14-2011, 01:45pm »
Man steals Jersey City woman after offering help with groceries, police say


purse not person, dodo.



« Last Edit: 01-14-2011, 01:50pm by Pinky »

Online CeeDub

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #48 on: 01-13-2011, 02:56pm »
Two shots from stolen handgun heard by Jersey City cop, quick arrest follows, police say

Ibid.
« Last Edit: 01-13-2011, 03:02pm by CeeDub »

Offline propscene

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #47 on: 01-13-2011, 11:15am »
Jersey City pastor feeds body and soul with dough and clay

Jersey Journal Headline, 1/13/2011

Offline Woodsy

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #46 on: 01-12-2011, 12:39pm »
Scientists plan mission to probe Uranus
Christian Science Monitor / January 7, 2011

Online Binky

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #45 on: 01-10-2011, 06:47pm »
Multiple gunshots heard in Jersey City injure at least one, culprits not found, police say
Published: Monday, January 10, 2011, 1:25M

Someone with sensitive hearing, no doubt.
nikki: i can't keep up with rab and his George Clooney lifestyle of drinking wine, playing music and philanthropy

AmbushBug

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #44 on: 12-23-2010, 03:49pm »
Looks like the JJ doesn't have a monopoly on stupidity. There's always "Fox and Friends."


Online fasteddie

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #43 on: 12-13-2010, 08:52am »
Priest accused of assaulted in Jersey City boy to face charges in Missouri sexual abuse case
Published: Monday, December 13, 2010, 8:10 AM

Offline jehu

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #42 on: 12-07-2010, 03:45pm »
Jersey City man arrested after cops see him adjusting loaded gun hidden in pants
TheFang: yeah, i gotta agree with jehu here

Darna: we had a lovely shat with mrs binky this morning

stephen: Hmm I'm as clueless as you are.

Darna: could someone please splain to me why a person in a gang is called a gangbanger but a gangbang has nothing to do with gang activity?

shahaggy: can't believe I'm saying this but +1 jehu

[02:58 PM] MCA: it's not stalking, it's caring enough to find out things she won't tell you herself

[01:35 PM] shahaggy: fine but jehu's correct

TheFang: as much as it pains me to say, jehu might be right.

One time, I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I would just sit back with my mind completely blank while the monkey scribbled on little pieces of paper. At the end of the week, the teacher said, "Class, I want you to write a pape

Offline pinky

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #41 on: 12-04-2010, 08:12am »
Jersey Journal Published: Saturday, December 04, 2010, 6:31 AM

Daily poll: Do you agree with the state's plan to allow a beat hunt?

Offline propscene

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #40 on: 12-02-2010, 03:43pm »
Jersey City residents in chromium-contaminated areas not more likely to develop cancer, study says
Jersey Journal. 12/02/2010

This is followed by a synopsis of a longer JJ article. The synopsis states that there was no link found between oral, anal,  and esophageal cancers so chromium-contamination= :nana:

Oh, but wait a sec- the full article says:

The 2008 assessment found that lung cancer rates from 1979 to 2003 were higher in areas closest to the historic locations of sites that had been contaminated with chromium.

That's some fine reporting there, guys :2thumbs:

Online fasteddie

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #39 on: 10-26-2010, 06:27pm »
Jersey City and Hoboken customers of United Water may experience discoloration as service is restored
Published: Tuesday, October 26, 2010, 4:53 PM     Updated: Tuesday, October 26, 2010, 4:53 PM

Offline propscene

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #38 on: 10-21-2010, 12:36pm »
Jersey City: What is your favorite coffee shop for laptoping?

lap 3  (lp)
v. lapped, lapping, laps
v.tr.
1. To take in (a liquid or food) by lifting it with the tongue.
2. To wash or slap against with soft liquid sounds: waves lapping the side of the boat.
To drink (liquor) habitually and excessively or engage in such drinking.

tope 1  (tp)
tr. & intr.v. toped, toping, topes
To drink (liquor) habitually and excessively or engage in such drinking.




JJ 10/21/2010

Online MA

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #37 on: 10-05-2010, 08:32am »
STOP HITTING PEOPLE WITH GIRLS!



5 juveniles club Jersey City woman and drag her into Target parking lot before robbing her in 3 a.m. incident
Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Five juveniles struck a Jersey City woman in the head with a piece of wood and a girl then dragged the victim into a Downtown parking lot, where they robbed her of $550 in cash and property early Sunday morning, officials said yesterday.

Officers dispatched to the robbery scene at 14th Street and Washington Boulevard at about 3 a.m. spoke to the 33-year-old Grove Street woman, who said she was walking home when she noticed the juveniles walking toward her, reports said.

A boy broke away from the group and as the victim passed him, he grabbed her from behind, reports said, adding that she was knocked to the ground when a second boy struck her in the head with a 11/2-foot-long piece of wood.

A girl then dragged the victim across the black top into the Target parking lot, where they stole her handbag containing her cell phone, credit cards and wallet that contained $180, reports said.

Anyone with information on the crime is asked to call the Jersey City police tip line at (201) 547-JAIL.

MICHAELANGELO CONTE

Online CeeDub

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #36 on: 09-30-2010, 05:25pm »
Hoboken doctor to speak about how to lighten backback loads

Offline propscene

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #35 on: 09-30-2010, 04:50pm »
crap MCA I just came in here to post that one.  >:(

Online MA

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #34 on: 09-30-2010, 04:24pm »

Online CeeDub

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #33 on: 09-23-2010, 12:33pm »
Not a headline, in the copy, a Freudian slip perhaps, but still notable:

Stevens professor to speak on political corruption at Hoboken Public Library

The Hoboken Public Library kicks off its Fall Lecture Series tonight on a topic familiar to many of us in the state of New Jersey, let alone Hudson County - especially considering the charges brought upon former assemblyman L. Healy Smith and former Jersey City councilman Mariano Vega this year.

Online fasteddie

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #32 on: 09-23-2010, 10:01am »
New Bayonne assemblyman pushes to restore cuts to women's health centers
Published: Thursday, September 23, 2010, 9:05 AM

What the article actually says is that the new assemblyman wants to restore funding to women's health centers. The exact opposite of what the headline suggests.

Offline propscene

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Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #31 on: 09-18-2010, 02:57pm »
Court says nude juice bar can stay open

Jersey Journal 9/18/2010

nude juice? really?

Jersey City, NJ Community Forums

Re: Stupid Headlines - Post Them Here
« Reply #31 on: 09-18-2010, 02:57pm »