Craigslist personals...gotta love 'em

[PuddinPop]

I will allow him to go on 1 date with Cosmic.

Wow WOW. Asking out all 3? Ballsy.

P.S. I think he saw me walking the 2 dogs  

ask out all 3, get lucky with one?  odds are in his favor 

[shahaggy]

Wow WOW. Asking out all 3? Ballsy.

P.S. I think he saw me walking the 2 dogs  

ask out all 3, get lucky with one?  odds are in his favor 

[PuddinPop]

Wow WOW. Asking out all 3? Ballsy.

P.S. I think he saw me walking the 2 dogs 

[MCA™]

http://newyork.craigslist.org/jsy/mis/1334103230.html

[Case]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/R32aFmxL9HY&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/R32aFmxL9HY&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;</a>

[bdlaw]

Oh, you know...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/jsy/roo/1181388381.html

Wow. What a catch.

[PuddinPop]

Oh, you know...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/jsy/roo/1181388381.html

[jcpeace]

any former Curtis & Kuby listeners out there?
then you may remember the voice of George Weber:

Web full of dangerous liaisons - but many continue to use craigslist following George Weber's murder


BY Tracy Connor
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER


The fact that radio reporter George Weber met his alleged killer on craigslist didn't weigh heavily on the minds of some New Yorkers looking for lust there Wednesday.

"Enjoy light bondage?" one person wrote in the Casual Encounters section of the online classified site. "Why don't we have a drink and discuss."

The craigslist personals were rife with postings from people seeking just the kind of kinky, anonymous, no-strings hookup that left Weber dead.

"I'll try one more time ... I am seeking either a man or woman (or both!) who desire to experience bondage!" wrote one flexible enthusiast.

Another described himself as a muscle-bound "bondage master" with a "craving for a sexy slave girl" available that night.

"All your boundaries will be respected," the ad promised - but no guarantees, of course.

Craigslist had no comment on the Weber case, but its personals include a blanket disclaimer releasing it "from any liability that may arise from my use of this site."

No wonder - the risk of an online liaison going tragically awry is all too real.

Just last year, Bronx 16-year-old Tiana Rice met someone online and made plans to meet him at a house in Brooklyn used by gangs for drug parties.

She was greeted by three men, had sex with two of them and was raped by the third, investigators believe. The assault triggered a fatal asthma attack.

In 2002, 13-year-old Christina Long was lured from her Connecticut home by a married 25-year-old, Saul dos Reis, she met in an Internet chat room.

They met a shopping mall and had sex before dos Reis strangled her - by accident, he claimed - and dumped her body.

While minors may be the most vulnerable to online predators, adults have been raped, robbed or killed during trysts with strangers they met on the Web.

Brooklyn bus driver Eric Hornedo was stabbed to death with a screwdriver in 2003 during a rendezvous with a 20-year-old man he met online.

A veteran sex crimes prosecutor said for kids and adults alike, the only precaution to take when making a date with someone from cyberspace is "don't do it."

"There's no safe way," the prosecutor said. "Even if you meet them in person, there is no way you can tell who is a sex offender."

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/03/26/2009-03-26_web_full_of_dangerous_liaisons__but_many-2.html



'Violent sex' ad led to murder of WABC newsman George Weber, confesses teen: Cops


BY Alison Gendar AND Corky Siemaszko
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

The troubled teen accused in the stabbing death of radio reporter George Weber is a Satan-loving sadomasochist and hustler who agreed to a drug-fueled rough sex romp for $60.

Knife fetishist John Katehis, 16, stabbed Weber "50 times to the neck" and body, police said.

"He and Weber met online sometime last week and had arranged to meet," Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said. "There was going to be an exchange of money."

Katehis was charged as an adult with second-degree murder and criminal possession of a weapon at his arraignment Wednesday night - charges that could send the tattooed teen to jail for a long time. He was held without bail.

After the murder Friday, Katehis shed his bloody clothes and fled Weber's pad in some of the victim's duds - only to land in cop custody after a G train conductor spotted his bleeding left hand, Kelly said.

Katehis told cops at Elmhurst Hospital Center he cut his hand on a bottle, Kelly said.

Weber's body wasn't found until Sunday, so cops had no idea Katehis might be a killer. They let him go and he fled upstate to Middletown in Orange County, hoping to hide out at a friend's house, Kelly said.

When cops nabbed him just before midnight Tuesday, Katehis was still dressed in Weber's clothes and carrying a dagger that was not the murder weapon, Kelly said.

Katehis admitted stabbing Weber, a longtime WABC reporter, after answering an ad on craigslist looking for rough sex.

"He saw the victim's ad looking for violent sex and said, 'I can smother somebody for $60,' but it got out of hand," a police source said.

It was not clear if Weber knew Katehis had an account on MySpace.com.

Had he seen it, Weber might have had second thoughts about letting Katehis in his home.

Katehis posted pictures of himself with various knives - including one he held against his neck. He also issued a chilling warning.

"If you disrespect me then I will f-----g break your neck," he wrote.

On his site, Katehis called himself "Extremist, an Anarchist, a Sadomasochist" and said he enjoyed "long conversations, drinking, bike riding, hanging out."

The teen also listed more reckless hobbies such as "roof hopping, hanging off trains" and violent video games.

"I am a very easy person to talk to," he wrote. "I'm always looking for a big thrill."

Katehis' lawyer Herb Moses said more details about the relationship will come out later.

It's "a very tragic situation. I think he was used by an older gentleman," Moses said.

Katehis' neighbors in East Elmhurst, Queens, where the murder suspect lived with his separated parents, said he was a loner and described him as "creepy-quiet."

"We stayed away from him," said a 21-year-old who gave his name as Chino.

Weber, 47, had been laid off from WABC, where he worked for a decade. He freelanced for ABC's national radio network and wrote a blog.

Katehis and Weber met in Brooklyn on Friday evening and headed for the newsman's Carroll Gardens pad for sadomasochistic sex, sources said.

A private memorial service was held at Weber's home Wednesday night after relatives and friends toasted his memory with shots ofWild Turkey at the newsman's favorite bar, Angry Wade's on Smith St.

"I really wish people knew George the way we knew George," said close pal John Peterman, 35.

[CeeDub]

ha ha ha ha hah

one summer my brother (true birth brother, not my frat bro or my brah - his sons are my nepherws) worked for a mason. who  had the unique skill of breaking a cinder block by hand - ie (that is), he would grasp a block and pull/twist it and break it.  Any block - not just bad ones.

So that summer, one dumb kid on the crew hears about this, and calls the boss out I know, I split an infiinitive - so move me to Philly and disbar me for DUI at lunch break, and el jefe does the deed and breaks the block (Think of musclemen ripping phone books).  So the kid calls bullshit claims it's a bad block, and bets that the boss can't do it with a block of the kids' choosing.  (They don't talk that way on construction sites, but for you gentle readers . . . )

The boss says, "Okay - but we bet your paycheck."

Who do you think was crying come payday?

On topic - my brother is an avid Craigslist user;  in fact, he was living in Chinatown and later, San Rafael, when Craig put his first list on the intertubes.

[jcpeace]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2416/2201688044_b9a72418e2_o.jpg

did fasteddie move to richmond?

[elgoodo]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2416/2201688044_b9a72418e2_o.jpg

[CeeDub]

It's a good thing we kicked out all those damn artists or we could end up with something like this:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/540076210.html

Copy extract:

"The pics are from my portfolio and are several years old; as a result, the couch has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom from being moved, but otherwise is in excellent shape."

I'm assuming it never gave birth and always practiced safe . . . whatever.  It would have brought a higher price in unused, ie, virginal condition.

[TheFang]

It's a good thing we kicked out all those damn artists or we could end up with something like this:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/540076210.html

[Kindelan]

Awesomeness:

http://greenville.craigslist.org/stp/530731516.html

I found that to be quite humorous.

[jennymayla]

Awesomeness:

http://greenville.craigslist.org/stp/530731516.html

Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me

Reply to: pers-530731516@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-06, 9:20PM EST


Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.



(but you still need to click on it to see the fabulous photo)

[TheFang]

(That damn craig is on a roll.)

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sba/469985878.html


wanted pre 1965 paper money for time travel
Date: 2007-11-05, 3:36PM PST


i have come into the possession of my great grandfathers life work, among being a decorated aeronautical engineer it would appear he dabbled in the lesser accepted sciences. i have almost finished building his masterpiece a 1952 nash rambler time machine. unfortunately my grandfather didn't live long enough to find an energy source with high enough density to fuel his machine, but i believe i have the problem solved.

serious offers only, i would like to exchange paper money for paper money printed before 1965 (for OBVIOUS reasons!). i will pay 5% of the total currency exchanged, unfortunately i cannot offer transfers of coinage as i am already pushing the weight limit as it is!

please no solicitations on changing the future as any changing would only happen in an alternate future reality and be a waste of yours and my time.

back to the workshop!

[TheFang]

As per NON's request it has now been threaded.

From Craigslist.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tor/467152147.html

Really need help. MUST GO!!!
Date: 2007-11-02, 5:03PM EDT


Please help! After two long years of being on a waiting list for a dog, we have been notified by breed rescue that, at long last, our number has come up and ... WE ARE HAVING A PUPPY!

We must get rid of our children IMMEDIATELY because we just know how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be and it just wouldn't be fair to the children. Since our little puppy will be arriving on Monday we MUST place the children up for adoption this weekend!

They are described as:
One male -- his name is Tommy, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), light blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Temperament tested. Does have problems with peeing directly in the toilet. Has had chicken Pox and is current on all shots. Tonsils have already been removed. Tommy eats everything, is very clean, house trained and gets along well with others. Does not run with scissors and with a little training he should be able to read soon.

One female -- her name is Lexie, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), strawberry blonde hair, green eyes quite freckled. Two years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Has been temperament tested but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy and can be affectionate. Gets along well with other
little girls and little boys but does not like to share her toys and
therefore would do best in a one child household. She is a very quick learner and is currently working on her house training. Shouldn't take long at all.

We really do LOVE our children so much and want to do what's right for them. That is why we contacted a rescue group. But we simply can no longer keep them. Also, we are afraid that they may hurt our new puppy.

I hope you understand that ours is a UNIQUE situation and we have a real emergency here! They MUST be placed into your rescue by Sunday night at the latest or we will be forced to drop them off at the orphanage or along some dark, country road. Our priority now has to be our new puppy.

[Bobblehead]

Watching that video, with Angry Monkey shaking his finger. LOL.

[NON]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/_yJ_86fqX5k&amp;rel=1" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/_yJ_86fqX5k&amp;rel=1</a>

[Bobblehead]

LOL. 













Note the reference to a time machine. . . .

[jennymayla]

From Craiglist/Los Angeles, but could be oh, just about anywhere.  AWESOME!


"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"
Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy

[Case]

Obviously written by someone else, probably the boyfriend.  But it doesn't say anything - some form of verbal masturbation.  And the editing is atrocious - huge sections repeated word for word.

[CeeDub]

Was I right or was I right?  A prankster looking to snag some poor unsuspecting $lob - and then pull his wings off.

*Clearly* some chicanery here, based on the differences in the OP and the retort to the response.

 

[skwirrlking]

The "Depreciating Asset," or someone claiming to be her, has written a response to the response on Craigslist:


I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your email. Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as we know is the predisposition for Wall St. types), allow me to hasten to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your "claimed" success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled. If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall St. have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed "make my own money", except for the fact that the effort/reward ratio is far too high for my liking — especially when so many of your ilk have displayed a far more cogent grasp of market realities than you have.

By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. Though you did not mention the details of your occupation, it is clear that you are an investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation rather that true acumen in your supposed wealth generation.

If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating "assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation. Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of "outflows" generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class which you, in all of your financial "wisdom", have not.

You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall St. job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit of a chapter 11, just as you would me.

Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine, I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me, the value of my "outflow" is in excess of the market price of your equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your poor grasp of finance and my existing claim upon your junk bond coupon).

I must thank you though for raising the question, despite the reputation cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your part- and we'll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.

[bdlaw]

With a long line of hysterically funny posts on your resume Justi, I have to say, this is the funniest thing I've ever read by you (ShoutBox notwithstanding).

Particularly the second paragraph, which I hope for your sake your wife never sees.



Forget Ron Paul, Justiceiro knows economics;  Justi for President.

[justiceiro]

Skankonomics 101


She wants cash, specifically half a million, and on a yearly basis.  What does she offer?  Basically poonani.  Apparently really, really good poonani.

Now, far be it from me to downgrade the market value of the coochie.  Years ago, before I was subjected to a leveraged buyout by resource-rich european interests wielding a strong Euro, my portfolio had a strong position in coochie.  The velocity of the market was high, and there was cash to be made. 

But, traditionally, the cooch in the US has never been as wise an investment as it is elsewhere, as investing in hoohah futures entails significant opportunity costs.  There is great resistance in the market to a diversified portfolio- try as they might, no one has ever been able to succesfully corner the North American Steeze market, despite the mid-70s scare initiated by the Chamberlain and Johnson hedge fund which drove valuations sky high.  Eventually, as always, C&J knocked the bottom out of the market, and they were forced to trim their hedge.

Globalization has made this woman's position even more difficult.  Had this woman looked around to transact when investors were locked into the NY coozodities market only (flyover state schniz being of notoriously bad quality, as well as being difficult to extract) before the beginning of the 90's she would have been in a much stronger negotiating position.  Unfortunately for her, there are many countries that have a comparative advantage over the United States and Canada in respect to production and marketing of this nature- Brazil, for one.  Local supply is numerous, opportunity costs are nil, and extraction is so low cost that trasnportation, if necessary, still add up to cheapgoods for all.


I was in Argentina on other business when I was approached in a cafe by a potential business partner.  unfortunately for me, my portfolio is already vested and my CFO, operating under strict sarbanes-cokbloxley guidelines, demands that I invest returns on my capital in more stable markets.  the potential investor, however, took this as a negotiating tactic and I inadvertantly negotiated her down to approximately $35 US dollars for a 2 hour lease not only of the quimbus, but of the balloon knot as well. The wonderful thing about this arrangement is that the elements of production do not have to cease due to intermittent lack of liquid capitol on my part, several parties can take advantage of the productive capacity of this particular capital.

As I calculate it, this woman, in order to merit $500,000 per year, would have to be extremely hot (as Argentine ladies have the finest, most modern, and most efficient infrastructure in the market today) and would have to have sex with me 14,285 times per year,  (or 39 times per day), without the imposition of opportunity costs for this deal to even reak even.

Nope, I'll stick with the hoes.  They are cheaper, and, in this case, probably nicer.

[duke_of_earl]

The ad is funny and reprehensible and all, but what I don't get is why it has become such an internet pheonomenon.  Craigslist as long been a haven for requests like this.  There were probably 20 or so similar ads posted the day before this one.

Yeah, and this one wasn't even particularly well written.  You can spend a few minutes on the "best of" craigslist and find some better ones. Some things just have a tipping point.  It's kind of like asking why about the Tickle Me Elmo phenomenon...

doe

[elgoodo]

The ad is funny and reprehensible and all, but what I don't get is why it has become such an internet pheonomenon.  Craigslist as long been a haven for requests like this.  There were probably 20 or so similar ads posted the day before this one.

[jennymayla]

From today's New York Times:

October 8, 2007
Acquisitive Craigslist Post Reddens Faces All Around

By ANDREW ADAM NEWMAN
Last month on Craigslist.com, someone who described herself as a “spectacularly beautiful” 25-year-old placed a personal ad seeking a husband who made at least $500,000 a year, because “$250,000 won’t get me to Central Park West.”

As her post hit the blogs, it received a scathing response from a man who said he fit her description and told her that her proposition was a bad business deal. “In economic terms, you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset,” he wrote, because “your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity.”

Last week, this exchange spilled over into the e-mail world, where the it turned into a popular item to send to friends as a joke. The difference between this and other outrageous share-mail messages, however, was that instead of remaining anonymous, its ostensible author signed his name and the company where he worked, which happened to be the investment banking division of JPMorgan Chase.

This detail, which may have provoked nearly as much mirth as the contents of the exchange, made the correspondence either more or less credible. Would someone with a big job at a prestigious company really have linked his name to a message that read in part: “You’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!”

The man who is widely credited with writing the response did not respond to a voice message, but the media relations department at JPMorgan Chase confirmed that he worked there and said that he was not the author. Rather, a company spokesman said, he had forwarded the e-mail message to friends, and the signature setting on his e-mail accompanied the response when it wound up on blogs.

By this account, the employee was just an accidental sexist, the latest object lesson in the dangers of e-mail getting into the wrong hands — the Wall Street equivalent of a Pittsburgh Steelers coach who passed along an e-mail message with a sex video to the National Football League commissioner, among others.

“Your workplace computer does not exist as a tool for forwarding jokey things,” said Will Schwalbe, an author of “Send: The Essential Guide to E-Mail for Office and Home.”

As for the legitimacy of the original posting by the husband seeker, a spokeswoman for Craigslist wrote in an e-mail message that “it does look as if the post was made sincerely.” A message sent to the Craigslist mailbox seeking comment yielded no response.

Craigslist declined to say how many people responded to the personal ad (which asked, among other things, for names of bars, restaurants and gyms where rich single men hung out). And so far, the identity of the responder remains a mystery too.

“I wish we wrote it because I think it’s great,” said John Carney, editor of DealBreaker, a Wall Street gossip site that posted the exchange on Wednesday.

Mr. Carney said that he had received the zinger in an e-mail message from someone other than the author, and his source did not know who wrote it. (The response never appeared on Craigslist itself.)

On Thursday, Howard Lindzon posted it to his blog. After a commenter asked who wrote it, Mr. Lindzon responded “me,” but then said in a telephone interview that he had been kidding. The traffic the posting drew was serious, though. Mr. Lindzon usually gets about 3,000 daily visitors, but popularity-rating sites digg.com and reddit.com linked to the item, drawing more than 100,000 visitors and crashing his server.

Brett Michael Dykes, a blogger notorious for fake listings on Craigslist, said he had received about 40 e-mail messages accusing him of posting the husband-seeking personal ad. But he said he had not written it and was stumped about its provenance.

“I’ve probably read it five or six times, and I go back and forth,” Mr. Dykes said. “Sadly I think it may be real. I have met in New York City that type of girl.”

By now, Mr. Dykes said, a blogger would have taken credit for the listing if it were a hoax, but “who would want to step from the shadows and say, ‘I’m the gold digger’?”

And Mr. Carney said he was not holding his breath that the Wall Street type would step forward. “In the age of ultrasensitivity to sexual harassment, people might think that this guy’s response about women being depreciating assets is not exactly how they want their firm to be perceived by the public,” he said.

[skwirrlking]

This was discussed on Howard Stern this morning. I'll post a recap according to marksfriggin.com:

Hot 25 Year Old CraigsList Ad Discussed. 10/08/07. 6:45am
Howard said he was reading about this hot 25 year old chick who posted an ad on CraigsList where she was looking for a rich guy to date. She talked about how she wants someone who makes a minimum of half a million a year. She said that she's so good looking that she should be able to find someone that hot who would date her. Artie heard some of that story and said that he should answer this ad.
Howard said that there was a guy who responded to her ad and said that she's only going to get older and uglier while he's going to make even more money. He wanted to know what she had to offer to the relationship since she's just going to get older and saggier. Artie said that's why he's perfect for her, he'll be dead by the time she turns 35.

Howard read this ad that the chick posted. She talks about the people she's seen out there who aren't all that hot but are married to really rich guys. The guy who wrote back to her said that she's a depreciating asset and he's an appreciating asset. The guy goes on to say that he'd rather lease her than ''buy'' her like she was looking for. He said that she'd leave him if his money was gone while he'd like to leave her when her looks are gone.

Howard said that Gary called the guy who posted the response to her ad and it's legitimate. He said that they may talk to one of them or maybe both. Gary said that the woman is looking for marriage and not just dating. Artie said that he may still be the right guy for her. He wondered if she's really as good looking as she claims she is. Howard said that they may have to get her in there to find out what she looks like.


 

[CeeDub]

ummm . . . I think the original personal was the prank.

"Beautifulo ? ?"  WtF K?  "Articulate and Classy?"  Disproven in less than three paragraphs, not only by style but by content.  Talking about money is so lower class.

The OP reeks of verisimilitudeanous fishing - and it reeled in a couplea keepers!

[Kindelan]

ok ok
this it toally ripe for a prank!!

which wiredjc dude wants to be the fake millionaire to lure this asswipe in??

(looks around)

i nominate my man SOSHIN!!!

any other nominees???

fasteddie or soshin all the way

[jcpeace]

ok ok
this it toally ripe for a prank!!

which wiredjc dude wants to be the fake millionaire to lure this asswipe in??

(looks around)

i nominate my man SOSHIN!!!

any other nominees???

[duke_of_earl]

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST
What am I doing wrong?


Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautifulo
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you wn't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

-----

ANOTHER ANSWER:

Dear Pers-431649184:

Your also came across your posting with great interest. I am a 28 year old Wall Street trader who qualifies as an eligible suitor under your $500k/yr rule. In fact, I make over a million and can usher a woman into a comfortable, true middle class lifestyle (not like those 500k lower-middle class chumps who have to make do with the junior two-bedroom).

I am sympathetic to your goal in finding a rich man to marry. The milk needs to be sold by the expiration date. But since this is premium milk, why would you settle for less than premium prices? I would like to address some of the questions that were previously missed by the other gentleman and provide constructive advice on where to find your match.

I also do believe in the efficient market theory, and am surprised that $500k hasn't found you yet. There are plenty of rich lawyers, investment bankers and hedgies to go around in this city. What gives? I think the problem might be that you have not been sufficiently focused in your search efforts.

The culprit, I believe, may be that you are also looking for qualities aside from money - such as looks, personality, and a sense of humor. However, men who have those qualities learn at an early age that they do not need money to attract quality women. As the saying goes, if you can get the milk for free, why pay up for the cow?

What you need to look for is someone who is long money, and short the other aspects. They are not easy to spot, since you are biologically wired to overlook and ignore them. However, the next time that you are at a expensive black tie event, and you are introduced to the short, bald, overweight man who fidgets nervously whilst making conversation with you, pay special attention to him.

Here's an inspirational story for you. An acquaintance of mine who was also an classy and articulate woman as yourself was able to land that guy - who also happens to be one of the top ten guys at Google. This is the type of stuff that gold-digging moms read to their gold-digging daughters at bedtime. Perhaps you need to make a location change to Silicon Valley - miracles like these happen almost everyday in a land where you can randomly throw a rock and hit a rich nerd in squarely his Kim-jong Il glasses.

And as far as his deficiencies go, they turned out to be not so bad. With hundreds of millions in the bank, she's been able to clean him up and give him a little sophistication. Think of it as a fixer-upper project with a massive budget (and yourself as a visionary real estate developer!). Although, I must warn you, it is a fine line you are flirting with - you must not overdo it lest he begins to attract younger women who are hotter than yourself. The trick is, you need build him up enough to be presentable, while simultaneously manipulate him into believing you are the best that he will ever do! That and having kids will be your insurance against your depreciation (or as I prefer to use the term, milk going sour).

I wish the best of luck on your sales project. As for me, I am also available for a short-term lease. However, for marriage I wouldn't consider a women unless she can bring beauty, brains and self-motivation to the table. I do not want to dilute my gene pool and end up raising a bunch of Paris Hiltons.
   
   

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