Craigslist personals...gotta love 'em

[PuddinPop]

I will allow him to go on 1 date with Cosmic.

Wow WOW. Asking out all 3? Ballsy.

P.S. I think he saw me walking the 2 dogs  

ask out all 3, get lucky with one?  odds are in his favor 

[shahaggy]

Wow WOW. Asking out all 3? Ballsy.

P.S. I think he saw me walking the 2 dogs  

ask out all 3, get lucky with one?  odds are in his favor 

[PuddinPop]

Wow WOW. Asking out all 3? Ballsy.

P.S. I think he saw me walking the 2 dogs 

[MCA™]

http://newyork.craigslist.org/jsy/mis/1334103230.html

[Case]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/R32aFmxL9HY&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/R32aFmxL9HY&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;</a>

[bdlaw]

Oh, you know...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/jsy/roo/1181388381.html

Wow. What a catch.

[PuddinPop]

Oh, you know...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/jsy/roo/1181388381.html

[jcpeace]

any former Curtis & Kuby listeners out there?
then you may remember the voice of George Weber:

Web full of dangerous liaisons - but many continue to use craigslist following George Weber's murder


BY Tracy Connor
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER


The fact that radio reporter George Weber met his alleged killer on craigslist didn't weigh heavily on the minds of some New Yorkers looking for lust there Wednesday.

"Enjoy light bondage?" one person wrote in the Casual Encounters section of the online classified site. "Why don't we have a drink and discuss."

The craigslist personals were rife with postings from people seeking just the kind of kinky, anonymous, no-strings hookup that left Weber dead.

"I'll try one more time ... I am seeking either a man or woman (or both!) who desire to experience bondage!" wrote one flexible enthusiast.

Another described himself as a muscle-bound "bondage master" with a "craving for a sexy slave girl" available that night.

"All your boundaries will be respected," the ad promised - but no guarantees, of course.

Craigslist had no comment on the Weber case, but its personals include a blanket disclaimer releasing it "from any liability that may arise from my use of this site."

No wonder - the risk of an online liaison going tragically awry is all too real.

Just last year, Bronx 16-year-old Tiana Rice met someone online and made plans to meet him at a house in Brooklyn used by gangs for drug parties.

She was greeted by three men, had sex with two of them and was raped by the third, investigators believe. The assault triggered a fatal asthma attack.

In 2002, 13-year-old Christina Long was lured from her Connecticut home by a married 25-year-old, Saul dos Reis, she met in an Internet chat room.

They met a shopping mall and had sex before dos Reis strangled her - by accident, he claimed - and dumped her body.

While minors may be the most vulnerable to online predators, adults have been raped, robbed or killed during trysts with strangers they met on the Web.

Brooklyn bus driver Eric Hornedo was stabbed to death with a screwdriver in 2003 during a rendezvous with a 20-year-old man he met online.

A veteran sex crimes prosecutor said for kids and adults alike, the only precaution to take when making a date with someone from cyberspace is "don't do it."

"There's no safe way," the prosecutor said. "Even if you meet them in person, there is no way you can tell who is a sex offender."

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/03/26/2009-03-26_web_full_of_dangerous_liaisons__but_many-2.html



'Violent sex' ad led to murder of WABC newsman George Weber, confesses teen: Cops


BY Alison Gendar AND Corky Siemaszko
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

The troubled teen accused in the stabbing death of radio reporter George Weber is a Satan-loving sadomasochist and hustler who agreed to a drug-fueled rough sex romp for $60.

Knife fetishist John Katehis, 16, stabbed Weber "50 times to the neck" and body, police said.

"He and Weber met online sometime last week and had arranged to meet," Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said. "There was going to be an exchange of money."

Katehis was charged as an adult with second-degree murder and criminal possession of a weapon at his arraignment Wednesday night - charges that could send the tattooed teen to jail for a long time. He was held without bail.

After the murder Friday, Katehis shed his bloody clothes and fled Weber's pad in some of the victim's duds - only to land in cop custody after a G train conductor spotted his bleeding left hand, Kelly said.

Katehis told cops at Elmhurst Hospital Center he cut his hand on a bottle, Kelly said.

Weber's body wasn't found until Sunday, so cops had no idea Katehis might be a killer. They let him go and he fled upstate to Middletown in Orange County, hoping to hide out at a friend's house, Kelly said.

When cops nabbed him just before midnight Tuesday, Katehis was still dressed in Weber's clothes and carrying a dagger that was not the murder weapon, Kelly said.

Katehis admitted stabbing Weber, a longtime WABC reporter, after answering an ad on craigslist looking for rough sex.

"He saw the victim's ad looking for violent sex and said, 'I can smother somebody for $60,' but it got out of hand," a police source said.

It was not clear if Weber knew Katehis had an account on MySpace.com.

Had he seen it, Weber might have had second thoughts about letting Katehis in his home.

Katehis posted pictures of himself with various knives - including one he held against his neck. He also issued a chilling warning.

"If you disrespect me then I will f-----g break your neck," he wrote.

On his site, Katehis called himself "Extremist, an Anarchist, a Sadomasochist" and said he enjoyed "long conversations, drinking, bike riding, hanging out."

The teen also listed more reckless hobbies such as "roof hopping, hanging off trains" and violent video games.

"I am a very easy person to talk to," he wrote. "I'm always looking for a big thrill."

Katehis' lawyer Herb Moses said more details about the relationship will come out later.

It's "a very tragic situation. I think he was used by an older gentleman," Moses said.

Katehis' neighbors in East Elmhurst, Queens, where the murder suspect lived with his separated parents, said he was a loner and described him as "creepy-quiet."

"We stayed away from him," said a 21-year-old who gave his name as Chino.

Weber, 47, had been laid off from WABC, where he worked for a decade. He freelanced for ABC's national radio network and wrote a blog.

Katehis and Weber met in Brooklyn on Friday evening and headed for the newsman's Carroll Gardens pad for sadomasochistic sex, sources said.

A private memorial service was held at Weber's home Wednesday night after relatives and friends toasted his memory with shots ofWild Turkey at the newsman's favorite bar, Angry Wade's on Smith St.

"I really wish people knew George the way we knew George," said close pal John Peterman, 35.

[CeeDub]

ha ha ha ha hah

one summer my brother (true birth brother, not my frat bro or my brah - his sons are my nepherws) worked for a mason. who  had the unique skill of breaking a cinder block by hand - ie (that is), he would grasp a block and pull/twist it and break it.  Any block - not just bad ones.

So that summer, one dumb kid on the crew hears about this, and calls the boss out I know, I split an infiinitive - so move me to Philly and disbar me for DUI at lunch break, and el jefe does the deed and breaks the block (Think of musclemen ripping phone books).  So the kid calls bullshit claims it's a bad block, and bets that the boss can't do it with a block of the kids' choosing.  (They don't talk that way on construction sites, but for you gentle readers . . . )

The boss says, "Okay - but we bet your paycheck."

Who do you think was crying come payday?

On topic - my brother is an avid Craigslist user;  in fact, he was living in Chinatown and later, San Rafael, when Craig put his first list on the intertubes.

[jcpeace]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2416/2201688044_b9a72418e2_o.jpg

did fasteddie move to richmond?

[elgoodo]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2416/2201688044_b9a72418e2_o.jpg

[CeeDub]

It's a good thing we kicked out all those damn artists or we could end up with something like this:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/540076210.html

Copy extract:

"The pics are from my portfolio and are several years old; as a result, the couch has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom from being moved, but otherwise is in excellent shape."

I'm assuming it never gave birth and always practiced safe . . . whatever.  It would have brought a higher price in unused, ie, virginal condition.

[TheFang]

It's a good thing we kicked out all those damn artists or we could end up with something like this:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/540076210.html

[Kindelan]

Awesomeness:

http://greenville.craigslist.org/stp/530731516.html

I found that to be quite humorous.

[jennymayla]

Awesomeness:

http://greenville.craigslist.org/stp/530731516.html

Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me

Reply to: pers-530731516@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-06, 9:20PM EST


Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.



(but you still need to click on it to see the fabulous photo)

[TheFang]

(That damn craig is on a roll.)

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sba/469985878.html


wanted pre 1965 paper money for time travel
Date: 2007-11-05, 3:36PM PST


i have come into the possession of my great grandfathers life work, among being a decorated aeronautical engineer it would appear he dabbled in the lesser accepted sciences. i have almost finished building his masterpiece a 1952 nash rambler time machine. unfortunately my grandfather didn't live long enough to find an energy source with high enough density to fuel his machine, but i believe i have the problem solved.

serious offers only, i would like to exchange paper money for paper money printed before 1965 (for OBVIOUS reasons!). i will pay 5% of the total currency exchanged, unfortunately i cannot offer transfers of coinage as i am already pushing the weight limit as it is!

please no solicitations on changing the future as any changing would only happen in an alternate future reality and be a waste of yours and my time.

back to the workshop!

[TheFang]

As per NON's request it has now been threaded.

From Craigslist.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tor/467152147.html

Really need help. MUST GO!!!
Date: 2007-11-02, 5:03PM EDT


Please help! After two long years of being on a waiting list for a dog, we have been notified by breed rescue that, at long last, our number has come up and ... WE ARE HAVING A PUPPY!

We must get rid of our children IMMEDIATELY because we just know how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be and it just wouldn't be fair to the children. Since our little puppy will be arriving on Monday we MUST place the children up for adoption this weekend!

They are described as:
One male -- his name is Tommy, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), light blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Temperament tested. Does have problems with peeing directly in the toilet. Has had chicken Pox and is current on all shots. Tonsils have already been removed. Tommy eats everything, is very clean, house trained and gets along well with others. Does not run with scissors and with a little training he should be able to read soon.

One female -- her name is Lexie, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), strawberry blonde hair, green eyes quite freckled. Two years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Has been temperament tested but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy and can be affectionate. Gets along well with other
little girls and little boys but does not like to share her toys and
therefore would do best in a one child household. She is a very quick learner and is currently working on her house training. Shouldn't take long at all.

We really do LOVE our children so much and want to do what's right for them. That is why we contacted a rescue group. But we simply can no longer keep them. Also, we are afraid that they may hurt our new puppy.

I hope you understand that ours is a UNIQUE situation and we have a real emergency here! They MUST be placed into your rescue by Sunday night at the latest or we will be forced to drop them off at the orphanage or along some dark, country road. Our priority now has to be our new puppy.

[Bobblehead]

Watching that video, with Angry Monkey shaking his finger. LOL.

[NON]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/_yJ_86fqX5k&amp;rel=1" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/_yJ_86fqX5k&amp;rel=1</a>

[Bobblehead]

LOL. 













Note the reference to a time machine. . . .

[jennymayla]

From Craiglist/Los Angeles, but could be oh, just about anywhere.  AWESOME!


"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"
Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy

[Case]

Obviously written by someone else, probably the boyfriend.  But it doesn't say anything - some form of verbal masturbation.  And the editing is atrocious - huge sections repeated word for word.

[CeeDub]

Was I right or was I right?  A prankster looking to snag some poor unsuspecting $lob - and then pull his wings off.

*Clearly* some chicanery here, based on the differences in the OP and the retort to the response.

 

[skwirrlking]

The "Depreciating Asset," or someone claiming to be her, has written a response to the response on Craigslist:


I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your email. Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as we know is the predisposition for Wall St. types), allow me to hasten to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your "claimed" success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled. If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall St. have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed "make my own money", except for the fact that the effort/reward ratio is far too high for my liking — especially when so many of your ilk have displayed a far more cogent grasp of market realities than you have.

By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. Though you did not mention the details of your occupation, it is clear that you are an investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation rather that true acumen in your supposed wealth generation.

If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating "assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation. Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of "outflows" generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class which you, in all of your financial "wisdom", have not.

You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall St. job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit of a chapter 11, just as you would me.

Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine, I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me, the value of my "outflow" is in excess of the market price of your equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your poor grasp of finance and my existing claim upon your junk bond coupon).

I must thank you though for raising the question, despite the reputation cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your part- and we'll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.

[bdlaw]

With a long line of hysterically funny posts on your resume Justi, I have to say, this is the funniest thing I've ever read by you (ShoutBox notwithstanding).

Particularly the second paragraph, which I hope for your sake your wife never sees.



Forget Ron Paul, Justiceiro knows economics;  Justi for President.